My Testimony

My name is Cari and I just wanted to share my story known as a testimony.

I want to start by thanking my mom for taking the time as I grew up to immerse me in christian places such as church, youth group, and Sunday school.  She took time to read biblical stories to me, as well as other books to teach me.  When you are young, its hard to decipher and learn true right and wrong.  Sometimes you feel like things are wrong inside but the world outside portrays a different story-”its okay, everybody does it; or some do it, its just that no one talks about it.”

Without that influence (my mom and christian values), I’m not sure the war would be going on inside me.  Good verses Sinful.  A struggle that was going on within; but God never gave up on me.  For good shall win in the end.

I would have said growing up that I was a christian.  I believed in God, I prayed all the time, forgiveness was an easy concept of mine to grasp, never hate anything; but I lacked the full knowledge of God’s Word.  Looking back now, I can see the sin in my life, and the struggle to understand what was right and wrong.  During this time, I felt all I had was God, as though I wouldn’t dare talk to anyone else about the things I struggled with.  God loved me and never gave up on me.  

There was a dream He gave me one time that played an important role in knowing Jesus was true – sort of like a personal encounter.  Where I went back in time and witnessed Jesus’ crucifixion.  But there were moments before, that when He passed by me, He knew who I was and where I was from without having to say a word.  That dream was so real and played an important role in my life as a reassurance of knowing God IS real.

Well as time went on, I struggled with the idea of truly being loved by friends and family.  I guess I turned away from God at this point and released Him from having to love me and care for me and walked around with much sadness and loneliness for many years.  I believe I still prayed, but I searched for acceptance with many crowds of different people; dated many guys; and continued to fall further.  Looking back, I can see that I gave up all worth of myself to follow hollow things in the world.  I reached a point when I felt that something was still missing, I thought then if I could only find that perfect guy to marry I would then feel complete.  I dated one guy after another, didn’t necessarily care who I stepped on or over to see if this was THE guy.  Thought – “others had their chance.”  But this only led to destruction of relationships – those in which I should have been the leader.  Being a “christian” I should have set the example.  Well, one day the world plummeted to rock bottom as I struggled to find my place back from a broken engagement to an undesirable relationship.  I hit rock bottom, I’d given all, there was no hope left.

But in those moments I NEEDED God, I knew God was real.  He had come to comfort me on previous occasions.  He was faithful!  His love endured through all the heartache I caused Him and He had compassion on me.  He reached down and comforted me and restored my hope when I thought there was no way to go on.  A glimmer, the sparkle of a hope so precious.  He guided me with His gentle hand, taught me lessons, helped me change and grow over time.  We often hit rock bottom in order to be built on the right foundation – Jesus is the chief cornerstone.  He placed people in my life that would draw me in His direction even more.  One would befriend me and show me how special I truly was, and another lady would take the time to ask and question me about my faith and true belief.  While uncomfortable as it was, I believe it was a great turning point.  I’m so thankful she stepped forth and asked the hard questions!  There were critical mile markers followed by times of change and learning.  God has a purpose for me and everyone.  

I started feeling God calling me to baptism again (I was baptized when I was a baby and went through confirmation later to confirm my faith).  But this time was different; I was ready to give up this past life and move into the light of God.  To accept Jesus as my saviour, who died for my sins on the cross and would now cover me with His blood.  I felt this strong need to do this act of cleansing and renewal, and chose a small church near my home in Tennessee where I made this public proclamation of faith.

My story continues on from there to being entranced by sermons-hanging on every word from God, to feeling God telling me to read the bible from front to back and be more equipped to speak the Word to others.  What a life change!  I had no idea what being a christian really was until now.  I long to live a life worthy, righteous, holy….like the example Christ set forth.  My life is so different now.  I love spending time with God, hearing His voice, His direction, reading His word.  He has given me visions and dreams.  I wouldn’t trade this for anything!  I only wish I could have known these things earlier and understood them fully.  But I am forever grateful that God did not leave me broken and alone, for His great love pulled me out of the depths of my sin so I can live for Him now.  Not as a slave, but out of free choice, out of my great love for the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Everyone has this choice and can find true fulfillment with God.  Jesus is the only way, the truth, and the life.  He provides the way to the Father, for which we are not able by any means of our own.  You can make this decision too – just confess your sins (or wrongdoings) to God, turn from them and accept the free gift of  Jesus into your heart.  For the bible says that the heavens rejoice even when one person turns to God and is saved.  I encourage you to read the bible, get to know God, get involved in a local church, and see the amazing things God can do through you.  For this is a walk best done with others there to encourage you, to be there for you and help direct your steps towards God.